Love is Fragile

There is time when I doubted your love and there is time when I doubted my love towards you...
There is time when I doubted love itself...
Is it true that we are just too afraid to get into a new relationship that we choose to stuck with each other?
I want to believe that there is only me that you are thinking about...
But how far is that true?
How can you be sure that there is nobody except  me?
If you love me deeply now, can you make sure to love deeper or still keep the warmth next year and the year after next and so and so?
I am afraid... I don't know how to react to love...
Things change, people change, the world is changing everyday, how can you be so sure that your love towards me is never-changing?

2069 Days

We have been through 2069 days. We changed. We grow.
Thank you for the patience, the understanding, the love and lots of tolerance. Thank you.










p/s: Let love lead the way.

Happy Birthday to ME

November the 1st.

It's been 24 years when I first realized that I have been waiting for the surprise in my life.

Life has been tough. 

I should pampered myself once in a while.

I am craving my life path for what I think is right. 

When there's a need to change, changes should be made.

For better or for worse, let you be the one to decide. 

I love, I hate, I laugh, I cry, I fight, I run, I enjoy, I suffer,

I am just being me.

p/s: Happy Birthday to me...

29 Oct 2010

Going to be 24 after couple of days. What did i achieve last year when i was 23? I won the first tender for my boss with his help and colleagues'? I don't call this an achievement though. My big boss did make me feel bad about this by asking whether I miscalculate something or not. It's all my bad, either miss a tender or get a project. What can I say? You are the boss. You are always the big time winner.

Went out with Irene just now, had a great time with her. It's been a long time since our last gathering. We had a great time updating each other bout our present life. She is my best friend. And I really wish that she can find her prince, get her happiness. I knew Irene for 10 years already. It's been long. She has always been one of my close friends, love her very much.

I feel helpless recently. Frankly speaking, I feel small. At this very moment you maybe the on top of the world but you will never know that the next minute you may be upside down. My conclusion is that my life = work + work + tonnes and tonnes of unfinished works!!!

p/s: I am learning to love my life, I am learning to let go...

Workaholic

It's 9.53 pm. I feel like suffocating in the world of grown-ups. Maybe I am just being naive. It took me two to three days the most to finish up one earthwork calculation. But now I have been doing it over for about a week and I still haven't complete it yet. I have lost my passion for work. I asked my boss one stupid question. "What is the meaning of working if at the end of the day all you left is exhaustion?" His answer is " Life is difficult. Working is tiring but behind the exhaustion you gain knowledge, your gain experience, your may find your interest of doing something that you are good at, you will learn the meaning of life." And my feedback is "Boss, can you please tell me something that I don't really know?" I know and I do understand deeply about he wants to emphasize to me. Thank you, Boss! Thanks a lot for your kind advice.
My boss got a call from SOP saying that we have been shortlisted for the tender and there are still some addendum to be done. I have been doing this over and over and the outcome is being kicked out eventually. I am so pissed off already! Take it or leave it! Why can't you just award it to us? I think I am really the one with problem if this tender is not awarded to us. I should prepare my resignation letter. I am really not suitable for this job. Sorry!

There's a saying goes, " Life is not just about breathing, life is about how many breathe you take in a minute."

When today becomes yesterday

Woke up at 6.45am this morning, hang up the clothes to dry, take a glass of milk, have an apple, take my morning shower, choose my outfit, tied up my hair, take a couple of look in the mirror and went off to work. On and off, day and night, this is my life.
Since the day I start to work, I have been thinking is this the life I have been wanting for. I am lost. I feel insured. I feel mistaken. 

June is Here

I have been a member of this construction firm for one year since this May 2010. I entered 4th of June 2009 and one whole year is gone. Achievement is not what I call. I should have pedal harder with all my might. Or I could have learn more. Thank you, Sir. Thank you for all the lessons you taught me. Something changed. Am I too afraid to accept the change or am I just not prepared? I doubt myself. I hope I won't disappoint you.
I told myself many times not to fall for what other people say. Because they might just add some seasonings to the original story. But I can't help to think about it over and over. The more I think, the more it hurts. I know this sounds stupid but I just can't help it. Grow up, girl! Face it! Welcome to the adult world of fantasy!
Why is it so difficult just to do your job and play your own role? Please don't enter into the territory where you are not suppose to step in.
I am truly upset and lost. Should I or should I not? Am I being too firm? I need to talk to someone, I really need to talk from A to Z out loud.

p/s: Please don't underestimate me and Never overestimate me...