August Fever

Haven't been feeling this way since... I don't remember the exact period of time. It's been long I know. I feel emptiness. Somehow, I feel lost. It's like I am not moving forward while the others are taking their chances and just go on with it. Emptiness hits me hard. Recently, I realized that I am a lousy decision maker. People get to live for what they have decided. But I can't stop blaming myself.

I am experiencing the toughest moment in my life now, at this status of my 24 years-life. It's very suffering to spend 24 hours missing someone. I choose to make myself busy rather than to sit back and relax. I tell myself to get a life just to find out at the end that I don't have a life. What a pity. My life used to be colourful with you around. I tried to hypnotize myself that this will end without me even knowing it. Nevertheless, I know that it won't be fast.

I am tired. Just tired. I am not trying to act cool. No matter how people tried to convince me this will be over, deep inside my heart, I feel bad. And I am the biggest moron.


p/s: Will tomorrow really be a better day?