Sitting in the office, feeling very confused. Perhaps I don’t belong here. Isn’t this my home? This question has been playing inside my head over and over. Perhaps I shouldn’t have come here at the first place. Throughout the year, I learnt that it’s difficult to please every single person around you. And you get to live with your mistakes. And no matter how hard you strike to get through, you will end at the same spot.
My job seems to be the only obsession that I can find my satisfaction in. I don’t mind having tones and tones of work load. I can stay in the office all day long just to keep myself busy. I realized that nothing can be perfect. Maybe I should just find sometimes for myself. Be alone, stay empty-minded, relax, relocate my thoughts, reschedule my plans, reset my goals for this year, find myself some entertainment and find myself a hobby perhaps. Could it be that I haven’t been honest enough to myself. Or could it be that I have been too aggressive. Have been trying so hard to stick as close to my principle as possible. And this seems to be a mission impossible.
I have summarized a wishlist to myself.
First of all, to get a really good camera.
Secondly, plan for a trip to KK. (Have been dreaming about this day and night)
Third, to upgrade myself more and hopefully to complete my dissertation.
4th, to have my bank account loaded.
No. 5, to buy an elegant necklace for my mother.
Make it just 5 for now.
p/s: To love crazily while you still can ...
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