I can't sleep... I've been very moody these few days... i am worried... worried about exam, worried about my honour year intake... worried about us... maybe i think too much but lately i juz don't feel right, I don't know what to do... I am so lost... Am i not strong enough? Am i not capable enough to handle things happening around me? Am i not sensitive enough to sense the changing of atmosphere around me? Am i not brave enough to face the consequences? Or am i juz don't have the enthusiasm to move on with my life now? I've a wish now... I wish the January intake for honours degree will open next year and i can finish my study smoothly and most importantly i wish to see you next year... if there ain't January intake but at least i hope that Dad and Mummy would let me work at KL... that way i don't have to come here again in Sept... and the bottom line is that i want to see u... i am not crossing the line, am I? I haven't seen u for almost half a year and i really do miss u like hell... i want to see u in person not jux talking to u through the phone... i really don't know how long i can still take this... I feel like I m about to fall apart... being unable to see u next year is NOT the thing i expected... Am i being too greedy if i juz wish to see u next year? sometimes... u juz don't know how i feel... u din treat me well when we first got together... but now u r doing juz fine... u always tell me that u r a lousy bf... sometimes... u r, juz wan to let u know that i hate GANDUM!! and u know why... i don't wan to be alone no more... sometimes i am afraid and when i look around and there is no one beside me, i feel horrible... i need u to be with me and i hope my wish will come true...
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