Nervous, insecure, unsure

It is total madness. I always hesitate whether to leave the company now or then. I will have to leave eventually. It is just the matter of time. I know I may face the same old brand new people in a brand new environment. I am afraid. I feel insecure. I know I have to start every single little things from the very beginning. I have to prove I am worth the pay, have to gain trust among new colleagues and boss. I have to learn the new company's operational system. I know these are not easy but everyone is going through these, why can't I? It is not up to me to worry so much about. I am  pissed off.  Because I felt being disrespectfully treated by some jerk. I can't stand being treated like this constantly.I am frustrated with the ill manner. I can't coordinate with this kind of jerk. I can't stand to be treated like a moron. The company doesn't need me to sustain so what should I care? There are too many jerks out there and just lucky me to have met one.I don't like to lie about the fact that, "never mind how the jerk treat me, I already get used to it, just let the jerk be"

while I actually feel worse after each 'attack'.

And I want the jerk to know that, it's not the cert that matters to the boss,

it's our performance that really matter. For everyone's sake, please

stop bothering me about my qualification.
I am just a d*mn graduate like every other graduate.

That's all and that's it. 

p/s: forget about those who hurts because life is already tough