101

I have 101 things in my mind right now.

Thinking bout my achievement at this status,

my career (though I don't quite like it & I don't think it as a career,

it's rather a chore that I have to carry out everyday),

my dream ( which I doubt whether I still have any),

my requirement,

and myself...

I miss those good old times.

p/s: I am wandering what's my passion for life ...

Happiness is Free But...

Growing up is to adopt a whole new life style.

Growing up means waking up from

fairy tales in the

hard way.

People tend to forget how to be happy,

how to be satisfied, how to relax...

When everything is about somebody else,

life becomes meaningless, colourless and vain.

I have always wanted to get away. I have always wanted to hide.

I always think why things have to be so difficult for me.

I tend to forget that I am apt to be happy too.

p/s: what would life be without colour...

Working Day

Guess what, I am at my office now...

I have been calculating earthwork and earthwork and more earthwork since the pass 2 weeks.

Earthwork sucks!!! I was piled with loads and loads of drawings and BQs and bill summary to be done. Today I am free and bored.

Vince is working in the same company with me now. I get to see him almost everyday during lunch break. I can't deny, I am happy to see him. Friends who see our relationship grow are happy for us too. Thank you so much.

No more long distance relationship for us temporary...

p/s: Frankly speaking, I need a break...

The Beginning of A New Chapter In My Life

I have been abandon this blog for ... I do know, maybe 3 months...

Eventually have the time to update it. I have been working very hard

over the past 3 months. Battling to meet the due date of tenders, setting

up new goals to be achieved, trying pretty hard to fit in among my

colleagues, all this and that is all to cope up with my new living style and

the bottom line is that 'WORKING SUCKS!!!'

I have been quite emotional over the past few weeks...

Sorry to those who are worried about me and

I promise to treat myself better.

It's been really hard for me over these past few weeks. I find it difficult to

love my life now. Though I have plenty of complaints back then

during my student life, this is very much different.

Every now and then I wish that time will reverse, reverse back to

the time when I was still studying in Sibu...

I will love my life...

I hope...

But I doubted it...

Is there anyone who can give me a time machine as a gift? I really hope to own one myself...

Day 3 @ Kuching

My mum and I took the bus from Bintulu on the 28th of May
2009 to Kuching. The bus was supposed to arrive at 11.30 pm
that night but it delayed. It's already 12.30 am when
the bus arrived. We reached Kuching sometime
around 11am. At first our intention of coming
to Kuching was to pay my bros a little visit
and will go back to Bintulu on the 2nd
of June but since mummy got a job invitation
here at Kuching, she has to stay here and I will stay
here at Kuching too. And now thing is changing again...
I am going back on the 1st of June to have an interview.
It's really exhausting. But what to do?
I need a job. If the company accepts me, I will be
separating with my mother. This is the very first time
I go back home not seeing my mum. I feel heavy. I really
hate to separate with her. I don't want to separate with my mum.
I want to take care of her, I want to stay with her forever...
Why can't life be much easier?Neither do I want to separate with you...

Wish me luck, guys!!!

Packing!!!

I will be going home on this coming Saturday, on the 16th.

Have to pack all my things and I am really worried that
my luggages will over weight.Have to pay RM15 per
kg of over weight!!! Will be home in no time...
Having a mixed feeling of excitement,
emptiness, relief... And we will be
separating once again ...
This time the time
frame is
unpredictable...
Experiencing and have to live with LDR once again...
It feels like yesterday since we first met...

I will be missing you heaps!!!

Boring Life Part 2

I decided to have pancakes for breakfast this morning.

And due to boredom, I took a few pictures of the
process of making pancakes...

This is the pancake mixture (ready-mix one).
All I have to do is to mix the powder with
adequate amount of water

This is how the pancakes look like before it's not cooked.

They are almost done. (Though they're a bit burnt).

Though the look is not very selling, they tasted just ok...

P/S: Happy Mother's Day to ALL...

I smell HOLIDAY

I am officially on holiday now...
But I still have to do my dissertation...
A topic is to be chosen first...
A proposal is to be submitted and approved...
Only then I can start with my dissertation...
I am still in study mode...
Never thought that time will be passing by in such speed...
Need to look up for job...
Employment in this economic downturn period is almost
impossible...
But do I have a choice?I have to decide where to work...
It's very irritating, annoying, troublesome, confusing, sick...
Whatsoever you want to name it...


Growing up is life of fading colours accompanied with lonesome

Exam Fever

Have been pretty busy later...

Just finished one paper yesterday...
And now preparing for the other one...
One more paper to go then I will have to start
with my dissertation...
Just moved out last few
days...Now staying at a
friend's place...I like it here...
Though I have to sleep in the living room...
I just like it here...The people are nice,
the kitchen is clean...
And most importantly,
I don't have to face
those stupid kids...
I don't need anyone to tell me what to do so just get the heck out off my sight !!!

My Housemate

Let me introduce to you my housemate...

This morning when I entered into the kitchen, I found this... As you can see clearly in the picture shown, the stove is flooded with water. I purposely put the picture to large size so that you can have a clearer view. How can you not be annoyed?! Hello, if you spilt the water all over the place sure you will wipe it with a cloth. This is how a normal person would act... But my housemate totally IGNORE it!!! For your information, I already cleaned the stove few days back, if not, this will not be the scene you see. What you will see is a stove covered with some dried rice, piece of hotdog, a layer of oil, few drops of dry soya sos and then plus today's water. Come on, I already cleaned the stove (let me remind you again, I am the only one who clean the stove in this house as my housemate and I, we are the only 2 who use the kitchen often), why don't you just clean up your own mess... I am pretty sure that you hands won't broke and it won't hurt!!! This is not the first d*mn thing she did that annoyed me... I am faded up with her and her roommate and the friend... Because they are the source of noise pollution in this house!!! She speaks turkish (short form of turkey english) loudly everyday with the mother. I can't understand what she is trying to say...I don't mean to eavesdrop their conversation, the fact is that I can still hear her with my door shut!!! For God's sake, please lower down you volume, you don't need peace, somebody else need!!! Despite of taking up all the spaces at the balcony for hanging out clothes and the spaces to put shoes and the spaces in the kitchen and the spaces in the fridge... ... I promise you there are more to come... Just stay tune... And thanks heaps for your precious time and attention to read this sh*t about my houesemate... I am being polite not to call them b*tches.......

Here are a couple of pictures of my flooded stove... Enjoy!!!

P/S: I HATE MY HOUSEMATES THAT LIVE NEXT DOOR!!! MY ADVICE TO HER IS TO IMPORVE THE ENGLISH PLEASE, I AM NOT BLUFFING, EVEN PRIMARY SCHOOL KIDS HAVE BETTER ENGLISH PRONUNCIATION THAN SHE HAS!!! SERIOUSLY~~

Emotional

Sometimes these graphics... They speak... for you...

Buddy UpClose 2

He has always been so adorable, how can one not love him???
I truly heart him...

Misery

I feel

Messed up

Unpampered

Uncertainty

Worried

Lonesome

Laziness

Lost

Harassed

Pain

Irritated

I am exhausted... Because no one seems to appreciate...

Despressed

Everything is so wrong. Everything is so misplaced. Nothing makes any sense now. Why do I need to go through these? My mind is now blank. My heart is melting. My life is a mess right now. I am about to crumble. I tried to cry but my eyes are dry. I have no idea how long I can undertake these. I want to get out of my life. But there is nowhere to hide. I feel like I don't belong here. There is no place for me here. I am still not ready for these. I am a coward, I admit. I am afraid to face it.

Please let me walk through these with courage

The World is Very Sick

Long before this, I have a very immature thinking of that everyone in this world is very nice, they should be very friendly, but now that I know it is just a stupid thought. People nowadays are very self-centred, they think of themselves before anyone else, they are egoistic, they talk nonsenses, they are not understanding, they don't tolerent, most of them are uncivilized, they have no manner, they are rude, they are hypocritical, they thought they are the fairest of them all, they are swallow, they are immature, they are lazy, they have no cleanliness sense, they act stupid, they are just immature... I felt so small when I am around these people, I am helpless, I am lonely, I am invisible, I will vanish with the air...


I am just being me

My Love Department

26th of March is a vital date for boyfriend and I. Though boyfriend
is a not-so-romantic guy, no doubt I am happy to be with him.
After a short discussion, we have decided to go back to
Fullhouse for a lunch. Prior to this, he decided
to bring me to Sakea Sushi for the
celebration but somehow it is
over-budget. It's alright
for me though,
as long as
we have each other.
Here are some amendment I made for the pictures...

Four years have not been easy though.
We went through long distance relationship for
more than one year and will be going through it in the
near future.However, I am willing to give it a try for another
4 years or longer.

It is truly a blessed day for the two of us yesterday as the
rain came pouring down half an hour after we got
home. What a relief.

Thank you for making this day happens ...

My WishList

I seriously need these things though some are my wants. LOL. But frankly speaking a girl's closet is always lack of a pair of trousers, a blouse, a t-shirt, a dress, a pair of shoes... ... ... "Enough" is not in my dictionary. =P



1. A nice and durable umbrella. {A need}
2. A pair of shoes, sandals maybe. { A need ^^}
3. A jacket. {A need}
4. A pair of jeans. {A want but I haven't buy jeans since last year}
5. A dress. {A want but the one I want is very X2 nice}
6. One more bag pls. {This is definitely a want... So?}
7. A personal driver.{A dream}
8. A personal stylish. {A dream}
9. A personal cook to fulfill all my desires for food.{A serious dream}
10. A servant. {Definitely all girls wants}
If I keep on with the list, trust me it will never end...


The picture speaks a thousand words ~ Go the way your heart desires~

Love Story

It's been 3 years-11 months and 26 days.

4 more days and it will officially be our 4th year anniversary.
Don't ask me whether or not I am excited to celebrate our official 1,460 days together.
Because boyfriend is definitely not a romantic guy. I have a bunch full of proves of his unromantic history. For example on the Valentine's Day, he didn't
buy flower for me as he thinks it's waste of money; when
I finally saw the dress I have been longing for
and I can't quite afford now then
he said "never mind, I will pay
half for the dress..." instead
of buying it for me to give
me a surprise...; and I
never had any
surprises in
the pass
3 years...
So this is why I don't have
much
expectation...
Despite of those unromantic history,
boyfriend is still a very touching guy sometimes.
He carries my bag whenever I said I am tired though my bag makes him look sissy.
He sweeps my room and mops the floor. He gives me messages whenever I need it.
He makes me laugh whenever he sees me in gloom. He prepares
my shower water for me everyday.
He cooks my lunch on most of the
weekends. He is
being supportive whenever I need
his support. He is like my guardian
angel. He never knew how grateful I am for
I have him by my side for always. He stays with
my during my gloomy days. He is there in my every sleepless night.
He has a strong passion for Gandum, Kamen Rider, basketball, Japanese animations,
games and FOOD. He is a ten-year-old kid in a 23 years old body.
Out of many of the above reasons, the bottom line is that I Love Him.

Optometry

Yesterday I became a patient for my friend who is doing optometry. She is having a test yesterday thus she asked me to help and it is really my honour. She will be the future to be optometrist. However she hates that. Well, it was a great experience for me.

The optometry test lab is located at the 8th floor. Once I entered into the building, all I saw is green! I was surrounded by GREEN. LOL. I don't quite like green personally thus this comment is a personal one. And there are a lot of doors. What I mean is 5 to 6 in just one single room. Despite that, all the future-to-be optometrists are very professional. Actually an eye test is not a new thing to me for I am wearing specs myself. Yesterday, my friend really impressed me. The tests they carried out are a detailed evaluation of human eyes. She used an equipment (that is what I called it) which looks like a special torch light to look right into my pupils and to see my nerves. This process is a very exhausting one for the two of us as I have to keep my eyes wide open and stare hard at a point and she has to stare hard into the tool and check my nerves. Both of us were sweating after this test though the lab has a centralized air-conditioning system. According to her, the tool is used to check the health of nerves of the patient. And mine are in a good physical shape.

The test lasted for 2 hours plus. Though I just sit there, it was still strenuous. By contrast, it was a pretty amazing experience for me. One more thing, I have to go back for the test next monday and this time the lecturer wants to test me. I hope everything goes smoothly then.

Eventually ^^

I have been stuck in the condo for 2 weeks or so... excluding going to school, go out to have my daily meals, going to do weekly groceries. Life starts to get bored. And finally I went to the Curve this morning!!! Oh, you have no idea how delighted I am.

Boyfriend brought home half dozen of cupcakes. I have been longing for this cupcake since last year... Eventually I get to taste it. Here is the cupcakes.

This is the content of the little box...

I bought this at a really cheap price, surprisingly. Juicy looking strawberries, I hope them are not too sour to taste.

Done with the food for the satisfaction for my appetite, and here are these food for my tired skin.

What a day. After this I have to be immovable again in this condo until I complete my academic reports. Well, at least I still have this day to have down pat. Cheers ^^

What happen?

Last week I lost my bottle of ketchup and peeler then today I lost a pack of vege!!!! Oh my god, don't u know what u just bought from the market??? Why can't u recognize what u bought??? really pissed me off!!!! don't tell me u don't know what you bought!!!! This is ridicuous!!!! Unacceptable!!! And I also happen to lost an egg... I put it at the sink and then it disappeared into the air!!!!!!!!!!! curse u!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once In a Blue Moon

I am sick...
Running nose, pain in the muscle, headache, dizziness ...
Hate being sick!
I have an assignment to be submitted within 2 weeks time and I haven't even started yet!
I am so not in the mood to do it but I have no choice.
Can't sleep well because of the extremely hot weather here.
Moreover something really strange happened in the place I stay.
At first I lost my fruit peeler then I lost the whole bottle of ketchup (let me remind you, I only used it for couple of times). So, what's next? My cup, my plate ... ... ARG... whatsoever !!!
Just bought a new ketchup and this time I wrote name on it so that it won't disappear into the air AGAIN !!!

A Love Like No Others

The Lunar Year celebration is too short for me. Or maybe it is just that time is passing too fast. If I put it this way, telling myself that time is passing by like a rocket's speed and not that the holiday is short, I will probably feel better, I guess. Or not, never mind.

Yes, I will be going off in a couple of days. And this time when I come home, I will be graduating. Wow, what a relief. But also means double up the burden on my shoulder, double up the time for burning the midnight oil, minus twice the time for me to rest, fooling around, eat, watching movies, and every other things, double up the stress!!!!!! Oh, I am about to panic, crumble, burst, and maybe fainted.

Apart from all of those unpleasant and scary possibilities, I am most grateful I have my supportive and lovely family. Thank you, Grandpa, Grandma, Father, Mother and Brothers.



P/s: I am the author of my life, unfortunately I can't erase my mistakes or overwrite my past ...